Sunday, May 23, 2010
Not too much to update on the ex-boss since my last post on this topic. Anyway, word had gotten back to us (keep in mind: small town) that the ex-boss was going around telling people she got a huge settlement, that she wouldn't have to work for a year or more, and even telling some people that the settlement was for $40,000. Well, I missed the last board meeting, but apparently they stated that the workman's comp settlement was for $11,000. While on one hand, I'm glad she didn't get the $40k she's bragging about, it is still infuriating to think that after milking the place for so much money for so long, she now has $11k more. Ugh. There is no justice.
THANK YOU
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you who encouraged me and helped me along thought all that horrific mess that went along with the ex-boyfriend. Your advice and encouragement, both here in the comments, on facebook, and in emails, really meant a LOT to me and were definitely what I needed. THANK YOU!!
I was actually in the car the other day listening to a podcast from a week or so ago that I just hadn't had time to listen to when I started thinking about this a good deal. The podcast in question was the Diane Rehm Show's May 10th episode entitled Abusive Relationships Among Teens and Young Adults (you can listen to it here, if you're interested). As you probably gather from the title, the show focused on teens and those in their early 20s, not women in their early 30s like myself, but it had some really interesting points.
One point in particular was the use of modern technology to further enable abusers. The panelists seemed to think that we older women wouldn't really be affected by this, because we aren't as joined-at-the-hip with technology as the younger generations. I thought that while they were very much on target with how abusers use technology to control their victims, they totally missed the mark when they claimed that this was something that only affected teens and women in their early 20s!
In my case, the cell phone was used as a constant means of control and keeping track of me. When I was dating the ex, when he called, if I answered, it was fine. If I didn't reply, he would call over and over and over and over until I did. I would get furious with him over having to get out of the shower or out of bed to answer his lame ass calls, but his excuse was always, "Oh, but I was worried about you. I thought something might've happened." Of course, by the end of the relationship, he'd started in on the "Where are you? That doesn't sound like your mom's house!" kind of bullshit. After I finally kicked him out, he called me non-stop over and over and over for days, only ceasing calling in order to text. This is all detailed in previous posts, so I'm not going to repeat it here. Suffice it to say, the damn cell phone, while convenient to me in so many ways, was like a leash tethering me to that psycho. I'm glad I'm free of him.
One other thing from this episode of Diane Rehm - towards the end of the show, a woman named Amanda called in to share her story. By the end of that segment I was sobbing away as I drove down the road, because it sounded sooooo much like I went through (even down to the involvement of the fellow's mother). Sigh.
Anyway: THANK YOU ALL!!
I was actually in the car the other day listening to a podcast from a week or so ago that I just hadn't had time to listen to when I started thinking about this a good deal. The podcast in question was the Diane Rehm Show's May 10th episode entitled Abusive Relationships Among Teens and Young Adults (you can listen to it here, if you're interested). As you probably gather from the title, the show focused on teens and those in their early 20s, not women in their early 30s like myself, but it had some really interesting points.
One point in particular was the use of modern technology to further enable abusers. The panelists seemed to think that we older women wouldn't really be affected by this, because we aren't as joined-at-the-hip with technology as the younger generations. I thought that while they were very much on target with how abusers use technology to control their victims, they totally missed the mark when they claimed that this was something that only affected teens and women in their early 20s!
In my case, the cell phone was used as a constant means of control and keeping track of me. When I was dating the ex, when he called, if I answered, it was fine. If I didn't reply, he would call over and over and over and over until I did. I would get furious with him over having to get out of the shower or out of bed to answer his lame ass calls, but his excuse was always, "Oh, but I was worried about you. I thought something might've happened." Of course, by the end of the relationship, he'd started in on the "Where are you? That doesn't sound like your mom's house!" kind of bullshit. After I finally kicked him out, he called me non-stop over and over and over for days, only ceasing calling in order to text. This is all detailed in previous posts, so I'm not going to repeat it here. Suffice it to say, the damn cell phone, while convenient to me in so many ways, was like a leash tethering me to that psycho. I'm glad I'm free of him.
One other thing from this episode of Diane Rehm - towards the end of the show, a woman named Amanda called in to share her story. By the end of that segment I was sobbing away as I drove down the road, because it sounded sooooo much like I went through (even down to the involvement of the fellow's mother). Sigh.
Anyway: THANK YOU ALL!!
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