So as y’all know, I’d been in contact with my ex. This was in part because I do think that being in touch with some of my exes actually helped me to get over them. Your exes treat you differently when they’re your ex, and has at least helped *me* put things into perspective in the past. Meanwhile, it was obviously not helping the ex, since he continued with his begging/pleading/crying routine every time we spoke. He also continued calling me all the time, and then started showing up at my house.

Slight interlude: Something I hate more than anything else is people who call and call and call. I have run across several of folks like this in my life, and I just don’t get it. If I call a friend and they don’t answer, I leave a message. If I don’t hear back within a certain amount of time (which, depending on how well I know the person and how urgent it is… but this time can range from a day to as week) I will call back and either talk to them or leave another message. And unless it’s a close family member or someone that I’m worried might’ve had an accident or something, that’s it. At that point, I stop calling. Then there are people who call over and over and over. If I don’t answer, it’s because I can’t talk to you, or because I don’t want to talk to you. This should be obvious! Now, I have a bit of a phone phobia to begin with, and to be honest, this whole calling over and over and over thing really freaks me out, even when it is done by someone annoying but innocuous. When it’s the crazy ex, it’s really disturbing.

Yesterday I was in class from early morning to mid afternoon. He knew that it was my first day of class. I had my phone set to vibrate (luckily, my vibrate setting is incredibly quiet – I can’t hear is at all when it’s in my pocket) – and he called and texted me over and over non-stop all day! The initial message was something like, “Please call me back, I have something really important to ask you.” Each successive message got crazier and crazier, ie “Please call me back. Why are you doing this to me? Please stop ignoring me. I just need to ask you something.” When I finally got out of my last class and went home, I was so pissed off, that I decided this was it – I was going to do like so many of you have advised and just cut off contact with him completely. So when he called again, I answered, chewed him out for calling me all day, and informed him that I wasn’t going to continue communicating with him, and told him that if he continued to call/text/visit I would get a restraining order against him. I then hung up and sent him a text message saying the same thing. This way if I do have to get a RO, there will be proof that I have indeed told him to stop doing these things.

And then I stopped responding. He called over and over and over and texted over and over and over…. Finally, when my phone hadn’t rung in about 30 minutes, I thought I would at least go through and delete his obnoxious texts and voicemails, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them when I received texts/vms from people that I actually want to hear from. Well, his messages were all “I’m going to kill myself if you don’t talk to me” and finally one (both a text and a vm) that said “I’ve cut myself and am bleeding all over the place. I hope you’re happy.” To be honest, I didn’t care at all… except that knowing his mother and her crazy obsession with cockamamie lawsuits, I figured if he really did die, and she discovered that he’d messaged me in the process, she would try and sue me. So, I called 911.

I made sure the dispatcher knew that he was my ex, and had been threatening to kill himself as a means of getting me to call him. I told her I had no idea if he’d actually done anything or if he was just trying to get me to call him. She sent both the police and EMS. (I have to admit that the thought of having the police show up at the ex-boss’s house thoroughly amuses me. Also, why have they not yet arrested her? Grrrrr.)

Anyway, later in the evening (and this morning, too) I received several texts and vms from him. “I’m in the hospital.” “I just got out of the hospital” “I’m so sorry” “I’m not mad at you for sending the police to my house” “Please call me” “Please call me” “Please call me” Blah. Needless to say, I did not answer, and I am not going to do so.

Well, my mom and I went to the police station and while it is now on record that we did this, there isn’t much of anything in that record as the cops basically said there was nothing they could do. They said that while they could definitely understand why I was feeling threatened, legally they would need something like one of them either posting a clear and direct threat on my site (i.e. “I am going to kick your ass!”) or posting a clear and direct threat on their site using my name (i.e. “I am going to kick Anon Ymity’s ass!”).

They said that I probably (although not definitely) had enough evidence to get a restraining order against them. They said that if I filed a restraining order and then received the kind of cryptic messages I’d been getting, that would be a violation of the restraining order, and they could be arrested. (Although as I’ve now blocked them on facebook, I’m not sure what other source of threat evidence I would have – or would want to have.)

There are some problems with the whole filing-a-restraining-order thing. For starters, just because I file for one doesn’t mean the judge would grant it. Secondly, I have to have their addresses (so they can be served) in order to file. I have the ex-boss’s address, but not her daughter’s. And I already tried 411 with no results. Without the daughter’s address, I can’t file for a restraining order against her, and I rather suspect that if I got one against the ex-boss but not against the daughter, the daughter would simply drive up here and kick my ass.

Have I mentioned that I am a PACIFIST? I do not believe in violence. This whole situation is somewhat mind-boggling. I haven’t had someone threaten to beat me up since I was in 3rd grade, and I’ve never had anybody try. I suspect being beaten up would be a pretty terrible experience, and I would very much rather not find out just how terrible! NPH!

One of my friends (Jumpers!) whom the ex-boss befriended on facebook in order to do god knows what sent her an absolutely hilarious message that totally put her in her place. I do wish I could quote it here because it was just so amusing. All she had was a really lame reply that she had added him by accident. Apparently that motivated her to come up with a better reason as to why she would add complete strangers who have been warned against her… She has now decided to reply to people who have heard that she got fired and is trying to cause me trouble by telling them that she was just trying to throw me a surprise party, that’s why she was adding them. She also goes on to tell them that she wasn’t fired and that wow, Anonymity must be really paranoid.

Last night I compiled all the facebook screen shots from the ex-boss and her daughter, put them in order and printed out three copies of the complete set… 14 pages in all. On one set I’ve written in my commentary and explanations, whereas the others are in their original form. My mom and I will be taking the set with the commentary and one blank set to the police station this afternoon.

I didn’t tell the boyfriend that I was planning on going to the police, although I did tell him what they had been saying/doing. He says they wouldn’t actually hurt me or my mom or our animals and that they are just being childish and trying to scare/upset me, so I should just ignore them. Which I suppose is true… and if they hadn’t brought my mom and our animals into it, I probably wouldn’t be going to the cops. But when my mom starts feeling like she needs to tote her gun around with her for protection, and I have to keep my outside critters locked indoors (they are begging to go out), I think it’s time that I at least get a legal record started.

Boyfriend has also said a handful of times that he loves his mom but that he knows I did the right thing. That’s a pretty telling statement in and of itself!

Also, I would like to thank all of you who comment here and all of my facebook friends for all your support and advice – I probably wouldn’t be going to the police if it weren’t for all of you encouraging me that it’s the right thing to do.

Meanwhile, for the person who said s/he almost wanted to unsubscribe to this blog because it was too distressing – there is hope! I had initially wanted this blog to be about things like my job, my classes, and other stuff that I really can’t blog about too publicly, but which is still interesting. It’s not that I don’t have other things to blog about, it’s just that this is what is overwhelming both my thoughts and my time at the moment. But believe me, a piece about teaching methods and a class whose subject starts with P is most definitely on its way :-)

My mom and I are in the process of starting our own non-profit. We are, however, moving very slowly and are still doing the legal paperwork. We do have a website for our organization, which specifically states that we are not yet legally a non-profit and that donations, while appreciated, are not tax deductible. Anyway, the ex-boss's recent line of attack is to go after our organization, allegedly referring us to different government agencies because she claims we're breaking the law. We're not in any way, and I find it quite ironic that she is accusing me of breaking the law considering all the things she did.

The ex-boss and her daughter seem to think that they are going to be reinstated at their old job. To me they seem incredibly delusional.

The ex-boss's daughter specifically made a statement on facebook about killing my animals.

Meanwhile, the ex-boss has also started adding all my facebook friends (99% of whom she doesn't know) as her fb friends. I can only assume this is part of some new and insane scheme of hers.

Now this is just getting ridiculous. Can someone please tell me how other people manage to have drama-free lives, and can that someone then help me get one? Seriously.

So apparently the ex-boss and her daughter are now placing something like 95% of the blame for their job losses on me (somehow the ex-boss had finagled her daughter back onto the payroll, and she has since been fired, too). I find this interesting, considering how there were two other former employees who submitted statements, plus numerous complaints from the community, plus, it turns out that she is under investigation by at least two government agencies – and that’s just what I am aware of! But nonetheless, they’ve decided that it is all – or at least mostly all – my fault. The Spy spend several hours on the phone with the daughter trying to convince her that, as a mother of two children it was a really bad idea for her to drive to our town for the purpose of beating the shit out of me… then when she updated her facebook page to say that she was on her way here, he started calling me every half an hour to make sure I was OK. He wouldn’t tell me specifics of what she told him, only that she was being crazy and irrational and he was worried about my personal safety. (Boy wouldn’t she flip if she knew how instrumental the Spy had been in getting her mom ousted!)

On one hand, I’m not too concerned. My house is pretty secure, I have three dogs, two of which are large and one of which will bite. And I explained the situation to my friendly neighborhood dealers next door, and they’ve promised to keep an eye out for me. On the other hand, I’ve never had anyone threaten me with bodily harm before, and I have to admit, it’s a bit preoccupying. I figure if I see any of them, I’ll just dial 911 immediately and hope that there isn’t too great of a response time! (NPH) So there’s that.

Then there’s the fact that the Board doesn’t seem to wholly competent to be running things either. I mean, this is a non-profit organization, which as you might expect, means it works to support a cause – one that I wholeheartedly support – and I am worried that the Board is just going to continue mucking things up.

Plus, get this:

My replacement and I were both asked by the Board if we would come in and help, whereas my friend was not. This seemed odd, since she is currently unemployed and has tons of free time, while my replacement and I both work and study and as such have very little free time. Since the Board knows *nothing* about the day to day operations of the business and my friend knows *everything* about it, it seems that it would make perfect sense for them to ask her to come in and assist, at least until they get things straightened out. I even suggested this several times to several different Board members, and each time, the response was kind of stumbly-mumbly “oh, the Board has to approve all new hires, and we just haven’t made any decisions like that” – um… they decided to ask me and my replacement to come in, didn’t they? And it’s not like any of us want to be re-hired, we just wanted to help out.

Now: my friend’s husband died a few years ago in a car accident. His family had hated my friend from the minute he introduced her to them, and they just treated her abysmally after his death… including spreading the absurd and completely untrue rumor that she had killed him. The Spy just found out that the lawyer representing the Board is part of that family! So, one can only assume that because of my friend’s dead husband’s family’s pettiness, the business is being “managed” by people who have absolutely no clue what they’re doing, when my friend was willing to volunteer a full 40 hour work week to help them whip that place into shape.

So – can someone PLEASE instruct me on how I can acquire a nice, quiet, drama-free life?