Late yesterday afternoon, I had been cleaning my house, and I’d left my phone on my bed, unattended for quite some time. At some point I picked it up, and it was filled with all these voicemails and texts from the ex, all saying “Please call me or I’ll just have to go over there and see you.” Now, I’d been rather attached to my phone number – mainly because I’d had nice business cards made up for the non-profit my mom and I are working on which had that number printed on them – but at this point I just said, ‘fuck it, I can’t take this any more, I’m getting a new phone number.’ I went over to my mom’s to go online and do just that, and I hung out there for a while and didn’t get home until around 10:30pm.

I’d been thinking that there was a good chance the ex might be there waiting for me when I got home, so I’d intended to scour all the nearby driveways and such pretty closely before getting out of my car. However, as I pulled up, there was a car approaching from the opposite direction, driving very slowly. All my attention was focused on that car, because it seemed very much like it was driving slowly to get a good look at who I was. Turns out I was right about that part at least – it was the cop who has my block as his beat. Relieved that it was just a cop and not the psycho ex, I pulled into my driveway, turned off the ignition and began getting my stuff together.

That was when I noticed the ex’s car parked in the back of the neighbor’s driveway, and the ex himself running up to my window. I immediately turned the car back on, and told him through the window to go away and leave me alone. He pulled out a piece of paper, and asked me to take it, saying he’d leave if I just took the note he’d written me. I should’ve known that was a ploy, but at one point I’d actually liked and cared about this guy, and part of me still wanted to think that there’s some facet of the good/nice person I’d thought he was inside there somewhere. Hah. Won’t be making that mistake again.

I’d rolled the window down a couple of inches, and he immediately grabbed hold of the window frame and began begging me to take him back. I started to try and drive away, but he wouldn’t let go, and said I’d just have to drag him or that he would hop on the hood of my car. I told him I was going to call the police and took out my phone and began to dial 911. At that point he started freaking out, shouting “Why would you do this to me? You’re just trying to ruin my life.” and then he reached his arm in and tried to wrestle the phone away from me. Luckily, the window wasn’t open far enough for him to do that successfully, although he did end up slamming the side of his arm into my face in the process, which hurt, but not badly or anything.

As soon as he heard “…County 911, What is your emergency?” he literally ran for his car and tore out of there. The cop was there within two minutes (having driven past my house half a minute or so before all this began, he wasn’t very far away), and took my statement, and advised me to get a restraining order on Monday. He said that given everything that had happened that night, I shouldn’t have any trouble getting a restraining order. He said that this way if the ex shows up, even if he doesn’t do anything threatening to me, he would be in violation of the order, which would cause him to get arrested. The ex’s car is pretty distinctive, so he said he’d keep an eye out for it, and would definitely make sure they got him out of there if he showed up.

Also, when I told the cop the ex’s name, he repeated the last name like he was trying to place it. So I said, “His mother is the former boss of the ex-job.” To which he said, “Oh. Yeah. She’s a loon.” (And that’s a direct quote!)

But you want to know the scariest part of the whole thing? I’d been in my car the whole time I was talking to the cop. When he was getting ready to leave, he said he’d stick around until I got in my house. At that point I noticed that my front porch light was off. Sometimes I do forget to turn it on when I leave, but that usually happens when I leave my house in the daytime and come home at night. I rarely leave after dark without putting on the light, although it has happened. My first thought was, ‘this *would* be the night I forget to turn on my porch light.’ However, it was only after I’d been inside for a good half hour, with the cops long gone, that I remembered that the front porch light was off and went to go turn it on. Except that it WAS turned on. The asshole had unscrewed the lightbulb to make the front porch dark.

So apparently when I don't answer my phone or reply to texts, the next logical thing for the ex to do is to show up on my front door step. Same old same old "Please take me back" and "I gave up everything for you, the least you can do is give me one more chance" bullshit. One new tidbit y'all might find interesting.... he admitted that he had lied when he left the voice mail and the text saying that he had cut himself, and said that the follow up messages about the hospital, and the bandage he'd been wearing on his arm were just because I'd sent the cops out to his house and he thought he had to prove that he really had tried to kill himself. That is even more psycho than texting your ex mid-suicide. Blech.

There was a notice in the local paper that someone from the neigboring county had been arrested for stealing donations meant for the ex-job. While it was neither the ex-boss nor any name I recognized, the person did live in the neighboring county where she lives. I checked with the current management at the ex-job, and the police are looking into whether or not this person was connected with the ex-boss. They also checked the other donation sites... and apparently this person had emptied a good number of them before getting caught :-( Whether or not this individual is connected to the ex-boss, this is simply reprehensible... especially given how much shit the ex-job has been through in the past year!

So as y’all know, I’d been in contact with my ex. This was in part because I do think that being in touch with some of my exes actually helped me to get over them. Your exes treat you differently when they’re your ex, and has at least helped *me* put things into perspective in the past. Meanwhile, it was obviously not helping the ex, since he continued with his begging/pleading/crying routine every time we spoke. He also continued calling me all the time, and then started showing up at my house.

Slight interlude: Something I hate more than anything else is people who call and call and call. I have run across several of folks like this in my life, and I just don’t get it. If I call a friend and they don’t answer, I leave a message. If I don’t hear back within a certain amount of time (which, depending on how well I know the person and how urgent it is… but this time can range from a day to as week) I will call back and either talk to them or leave another message. And unless it’s a close family member or someone that I’m worried might’ve had an accident or something, that’s it. At that point, I stop calling. Then there are people who call over and over and over. If I don’t answer, it’s because I can’t talk to you, or because I don’t want to talk to you. This should be obvious! Now, I have a bit of a phone phobia to begin with, and to be honest, this whole calling over and over and over thing really freaks me out, even when it is done by someone annoying but innocuous. When it’s the crazy ex, it’s really disturbing.

Yesterday I was in class from early morning to mid afternoon. He knew that it was my first day of class. I had my phone set to vibrate (luckily, my vibrate setting is incredibly quiet – I can’t hear is at all when it’s in my pocket) – and he called and texted me over and over non-stop all day! The initial message was something like, “Please call me back, I have something really important to ask you.” Each successive message got crazier and crazier, ie “Please call me back. Why are you doing this to me? Please stop ignoring me. I just need to ask you something.” When I finally got out of my last class and went home, I was so pissed off, that I decided this was it – I was going to do like so many of you have advised and just cut off contact with him completely. So when he called again, I answered, chewed him out for calling me all day, and informed him that I wasn’t going to continue communicating with him, and told him that if he continued to call/text/visit I would get a restraining order against him. I then hung up and sent him a text message saying the same thing. This way if I do have to get a RO, there will be proof that I have indeed told him to stop doing these things.

And then I stopped responding. He called over and over and over and texted over and over and over…. Finally, when my phone hadn’t rung in about 30 minutes, I thought I would at least go through and delete his obnoxious texts and voicemails, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them when I received texts/vms from people that I actually want to hear from. Well, his messages were all “I’m going to kill myself if you don’t talk to me” and finally one (both a text and a vm) that said “I’ve cut myself and am bleeding all over the place. I hope you’re happy.” To be honest, I didn’t care at all… except that knowing his mother and her crazy obsession with cockamamie lawsuits, I figured if he really did die, and she discovered that he’d messaged me in the process, she would try and sue me. So, I called 911.

I made sure the dispatcher knew that he was my ex, and had been threatening to kill himself as a means of getting me to call him. I told her I had no idea if he’d actually done anything or if he was just trying to get me to call him. She sent both the police and EMS. (I have to admit that the thought of having the police show up at the ex-boss’s house thoroughly amuses me. Also, why have they not yet arrested her? Grrrrr.)

Anyway, later in the evening (and this morning, too) I received several texts and vms from him. “I’m in the hospital.” “I just got out of the hospital” “I’m so sorry” “I’m not mad at you for sending the police to my house” “Please call me” “Please call me” “Please call me” Blah. Needless to say, I did not answer, and I am not going to do so.

I know I haven't updated in a long time, but I figure some of you might be interested in what's been going on with the now ex-boyfriend and the continuing drama of the ex-boss.

Ex-boyfriend: I do talk to him now. He calls at least once a day, either "just to talk" or to try and beg me to take him back. I'm always very firm with my saying no to him... and to be honest, it's easier to deal with that than with him calling non-stop all day and night.

Ex-boss: Not too much new has come out in the investigation... just more thefts of funds uncovered. At this point, that no longer shocks or surprises me. Plus, they've uncovered that an elderly donor had been making monthly donations (she thought) to the ex-job - but the ex-boss had told her that checks needed to be made out in her (the ex-boss's) name! That's a bit sickening. Also, for those of you who aren't my facebook friend, she recently figured a way to circumvent my facebook block and leave a bunch of nasty comments for me. She's been re-blocked by the way. She has also started posting crap about the ex-job on the local online forum again, talking about how terrible they are....

And that's pretty much it! :-)

I didn't hear from the now EX-boyfriend at all yesterday. Two phone calls and one text so far today. I'm not replying.

Hahahaha. The Spy just called with more news. The ex-boss's daughter is now back on probation. Apparently she had originally had to do 60 hours of community service (all of which she "did" at the ex-job while receiving her salary) - now she has to do something like double that, starting from scratch, and her probation officer will be monitoring where and how well she does her service quite closely this time around!