There are still numerous people who believe the ex-boss is a good person. This is because they don't know her very well, and because she talks a good game. I initially thought she was a great person, because I fell for her bullshit just like everyone else does. The woman is a champion bullshit artist. She runs a non-profit organization that receives a lot of money in donations... and does *some* work for its cause that is good... but most of what the donations do is fund her lifestyle. Anyway, the ex-job's current boss and Board of Directors received an email from a woman who believes the ex-boss is wonderful. I've met this person - she is someone who cares a lot for the cause... and who only has contact with the ex-boss about 4 times a year. All of the times they've had contact have obviously been positive. The letter is below. It was sent to me by the vice president of the board, with an email asking me "your thoughts on this??"

Dear [Current Boss],

I will go ahead and put something in writing to your Board of Directors and also forward the same to your attorney. Do they have open Board Meetings or are they held privately, I came past the [organization] around 6:00pm last night passing through to [city] on my way back to [another city] I had seen you already closed.

I am a [irrelevant job title] for a [irrelevant company]. Even though [city] is not my territory, I do pass through several times a year.

I would like someone to address this problem and see what can be done to help [do what the organization does]. I see this as a waste of people times when is essence you have a great group close by and are refusing to work with them, when other groups are so overloaded and can't move animals the way they can.

As you stated I have googled [ex-director’s organization] and seen only great things and fantastic accomplishments. Also as you directed I googled your former directors name and only found information from last year concerning accusations from your organization. Was there any criminal outcome or civil outcome that was not published?

I have also seen how many awards she and her organization won for [the work they do]. There were several articles written on the wonderful work they have done [in this area of work] including many from your organization with numerous quotes from this same attorney, and several board members.

I don't understand how these few articles concerning her termination over a short period of time maybe 45 days has made them so bitter toward her help. Especially as the one article states there is no evidence to support the claim and it was being investigated by your sheriffs department. It leads me to believe that they were just accusations. But that is neither her or there. I just felt the need to address this as you have stated twice she and [her organization] were criminals or so horrible that [those she claims to help] would suffer.

I do believe, no matter what, [her organization] is an organization you would want on your side, and put aside your past employment differences to benefit the [needy group] of your community.

I finally spoke to them this morning and was told, under no circumstances, will she discuss anything with her prior employment there as the only thing that suffers is the [needy group] in your care.

But your [organization having problems] was addressed and a concern for them. They did not address your organization with any foul words but spoke eloquently and professionally. They stated you [have problems]. So it seems your organization is not working in the best interest of [those you help]. I may be wrong however, this is the impression I have received. I am sorry if that seems harsh. I just think maybe people feelings got hurt and they need to overcome this.

What can I or my contacts do to help alleviate these issues? What can I say in this letter to your Board that may be able to help with this issue with [the ex-director’s organization].

Please let me know and I will get this letter voicing our concerns for these [group helped by these orgs] out as soon as possible maybe a petition will work or help? Please also let me know when your board meetings are held. Also is it correct in stating your organization is government funded? Who in the government can I write or call to address this issues with them? Is there a Mayor or a Board of Commissioners? Maybe that will help since your funding is not private and your board seems to not have the best interest of the [group they help] and are more worried about their pride.

This was my reply to the vice president of the board:

I think perhaps a public statement is in order, detailing what exactly the Sheriff's Department, local DA, etc have done in reference to the investigation into [the ex-boss], and that this is now a matter for the courts. You should consider including in the public statement both the irrefutable evidence of the financial situation [the organization] was in upon her termination, and a statement that this is not a matter of "hurt feelings" but a matter of mismanagement and criminal activity. I would suggest mentioning that while you support the [service]-related actions of [the ex-boss’s organization], the prior actions of [the ex-boss] while she was connected with [the organization] cannot be condoned.

But, of course, they didn't take my advice, and as usual, are doing nothing that might possibly bring them (and by "them" I mean the members of the board, not the organization itself) bad publicity:

We are sitting tight for the moment...waiting for the DA to do whatever he plans to do...don't want to stir up any more controversy than we have already had.

Not too much to update on the ex-boss since my last post on this topic. Anyway, word had gotten back to us (keep in mind: small town) that the ex-boss was going around telling people she got a huge settlement, that she wouldn't have to work for a year or more, and even telling some people that the settlement was for $40,000. Well, I missed the last board meeting, but apparently they stated that the workman's comp settlement was for $11,000. While on one hand, I'm glad she didn't get the $40k she's bragging about, it is still infuriating to think that after milking the place for so much money for so long, she now has $11k more. Ugh. There is no justice.

THANK YOU

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you who encouraged me and helped me along thought all that horrific mess that went along with the ex-boyfriend. Your advice and encouragement, both here in the comments, on facebook, and in emails, really meant a LOT to me and were definitely what I needed. THANK YOU!!

I was actually in the car the other day listening to a podcast from a week or so ago that I just hadn't had time to listen to when I started thinking about this a good deal. The podcast in question was the Diane Rehm Show's May 10th episode entitled Abusive Relationships Among Teens and Young Adults (you can listen to it here, if you're interested). As you probably gather from the title, the show focused on teens and those in their early 20s, not women in their early 30s like myself, but it had some really interesting points.

One point in particular was the use of modern technology to further enable abusers. The panelists seemed to think that we older women wouldn't really be affected by this, because we aren't as joined-at-the-hip with technology as the younger generations. I thought that while they were very much on target with how abusers use technology to control their victims, they totally missed the mark when they claimed that this was something that only affected teens and women in their early 20s!

In my case, the cell phone was used as a constant means of control and keeping track of me. When I was dating the ex, when he called, if I answered, it was fine. If I didn't reply, he would call over and over and over and over until I did. I would get furious with him over having to get out of the shower or out of bed to answer his lame ass calls, but his excuse was always, "Oh, but I was worried about you. I thought something might've happened." Of course, by the end of the relationship, he'd started in on the "Where are you? That doesn't sound like your mom's house!" kind of bullshit. After I finally kicked him out, he called me non-stop over and over and over for days, only ceasing calling in order to text. This is all detailed in previous posts, so I'm not going to repeat it here. Suffice it to say, the damn cell phone, while convenient to me in so many ways, was like a leash tethering me to that psycho. I'm glad I'm free of him.

One other thing from this episode of Diane Rehm - towards the end of the show, a woman named Amanda called in to share her story. By the end of that segment I was sobbing away as I drove down the road, because it sounded sooooo much like I went through (even down to the involvement of the fellow's mother). Sigh.

Anyway: THANK YOU ALL!!

The ex-boss had filed a workman's comp claim against the ex-job. Her suit alleged that the day before she was fired, she received an injury and is therefore due a workman's comp settlement. (I can't write details of what the injury was, but let's just say that *if* the incident occurred, it would've been her fault for going delinquent on the service that would've prevented it. And oh yeah, she'd also gone delinquent on the workman's comp insurance!!)

Anyway, the suit also alleged that she was wrongfully terminated, because the person who hired her (the "consultant" - who used to be the board's president) had guaranteed in writing that she would have X number of years of employment.

The hearing was supposed to be tomorrow. The Spy and other former coworkers were set to testify. Then yesterday, the consultant told the board's lawyer that she couldn't remember if she had given the ex-boss a guarantee in writing about the number of years she would be employed or not... (HOWEVER: guarantee or not, if you EMBEZZLE money from your job, that's an appropriate reason to get fired!!) Anyway, the Spy and ex-coworkers were set testify, when word came down that their testimony was no longer needed.

They fucking settled out of court! That BITCH is getting more money from them. WTF????? I don't know how much she's getting, but she *is* getting money. I cannot fucking believe this bullshit.

With regards to the investigation into the ex-boss, it seems that I have even less than nothing to update. While I had been infuriated to discover that the sheriff's department hadn't been given the case until January, when I spoke to the detective back in February, she made it seem like she was going to do everything in her power to bring charges against the ex-boss. And yet, nothing has happened. Unfortunately, I know how small town politics works. I know that if the truth comes to light, it'll look very bad for certain members of the board, and I know that these certain board members are “important” people in our community. While the detective seemed pretty gung-ho about bringing the truth to light, even if it looked bad for the board, I find myself wondering who *her* boss is friends with. A word in the right ear around here and she might be asked to drop the investigation. Who knows; I hope that this won't happen, but as it is now APRIL and nothing has happened, I'm seriously starting to doubt that anything will.

This is how the ex-boss keeps getting away with shit. And she'll continue to do so until somebody finally has her arrested. Oh, wait... she already got off on a murder charge, so I guess she doesn't stop even then. Sigh. I checked out her personal non-profit's website the other day; apparently her org is now allied with a large national corporation in a nearby city to fund-raise and to, well... to do what it is her org claims to do. I've seen the conditions of her org... and it's obvious that while some of her money goes to maintaining it, the bulk of the money she brings in from fund-raising does not go to her org at all. And now she's got another cash cow to milk, since the ex-job seems to have let her get away with her scam.

I hadn't heard from the psycho ex since that scary night back in January when I had to call 911. Here I was, thinking that my pseudo-temp-restraining-order was working, that he would at least leave me alone from here on out. Well, today he called my mom. My mother does not have caller ID. Even before this whole crazy-ex business, I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone at her house, because I never knew who would be on the other end. Yes, I have a phone phobia. Well, now I have yet another reason to not answer the phone at her house. She answered the phone, and there he was on the other end. He claimed to have called to wish *US* - as in me and my mom - a happy Easter. He swore to my mom that he hadn't stolen the expensive object of hers which we suspect he stole. He also said that he has been in the city where my father lives since the day after “our disagreement,” (you know, when I called the cops on him because he was hiding in my bushes after unscrewing my front porch lightbulb) where he has been working. When my mom pointed out that he had been seen in a local grocery store by one of my friends three full weeks after that date, he said, “That's bullshit.” Hah. He also told her that he thinks about me every day, and really wishes I would call him. [Insert profanity here. I uttered a lot of it.]

I don't have too much to update in terms of the ex-job, but here's what I've got:

The Board meeting the other night was more like the "bored" meeting - no wonder the ex-boss was able to pull the wool over their eyes for so long. The Board's president and the "consultant" both have very dominant personalities, and everyone tends to acquiesce to them, even when their opinion is actually completely different. Meanwhile, they took forever to decide really simple things, and periodically I had to interject with what (in each case) I felt was the obvious solution... they tended to take me up on my suggestions, and seemed amazed by them. Yeah, amazed by the obvious. Boy my confidence in these people is stoked.

Anyway, they didn't discuss the situation with the ex-boss in the public part of the meeting, and as such, I had to try and find out the dirt later from the current boss and my spy. They have a private portion of the meeting, during which they kick out any members of the public - and the "consultant". I found out later from the current boss that one of the things discussed during the private session was the "consultant" herself, and the fact that the board has discovered that she's been in regular contact with her friend, the ex-boss!! Apparently this is all coming to light, due to the fact that SHE was supposed to be the liason between the board and the Sherrif's office, and yet the Sherrif's office got very little of the evidence which the board had collected. Hmmmm. Oh, I'm hoping she gets busted, too, because I cannot stand that bitch.

The state-appointed workman's comp attorney interviewed staff members at the ex-job today with regards to the ex-boss's ridiculous claim that she was injured right before she was fired. I pretty much cannot possibly see how she can expect to win this, what with every single person who was employed there at the time stating that A) they didn't see the incident B) she didn't mention the incident and C) she seemed perfectly fine and healthy, and made no mention of any physical discomfort. Also, let's not forget D) she's under investigation for theft/embezzlement and E) she is crazy.

I had my interview today with the detective who is investigating both the ex-boss and the recent theft of a piece of equipment from my mom. Now, the prime suspects in this theft (to me and my mom at any rate) are the ex-boyfriend and the ex-boss. The detective used the theft as an excuse to go out and visit the ex-boss, ostensibly to see if the ex-boyfriend was around (no sign of the stolen equipment, but she didn't have a warrant, so she couldn't poke around). Anyhow, the ex-boss told the detective that the ex-boyfriend wasn't there because he was in a southern state visiting his sister... keep in mind that just a few weeks ago she sent a letter to the court stating that he had moved PERMANENTLY to a northern state, and was there working. This letter is the reason why the restraining order wasn't issued. And of course there's the fact that a friend and former coworker saw the ex-boyfriend here in town a little more than a week ago. Now because the letter that the ex-boss wrote wasn't “under oath” she can't be charged with perjury, but she can be charged with contempt of court... which I guess will just be thrown in with all the other charges that are probably going to be brought against her. Not that this does anything to get me my restraining order, but it's something.

The most astounding thing that I learned today? Now I knew that the ex-boss had a criminal record, because she bragged about it, although she never told anyone what it was that she'd been charged with. Well, apparently she'd been charged with a variety of small things. And oh yeah, HOMICIDE. That's right, the ex-boss stood trial for fucking MURDER. She was acquitted, but apparently due to some kind of evidentiary problem. That's right ladies and gentleman, she got off on a technicality. She was, however, convicted on a felony firearms charge from this whole murder thing. So yeah, the person who has been threatening me and my mother and our animals has killed someone. Actually killed someone. Fuck me. The detective just told me the bare bones of the case... it is driving me crazy that I can't find any details via google. I'm guessing she must have been tried under another name or something. (She's been married three times and I only know two of those names, and then there's her maiden name which I don't know.)

(Apparently the ex-boss was also dismissed from a previous employer – one she always claims she retired from, even though she is way too young to have retired from anywhere – due to a sexual harassment claim from a subordinate, although compared to MURDER that kinda pales into insignificance. Also: ew. Even if I were a horny guy: ew. She is so not attractive.)

Other than that, the interview wasn't too astounding. I'd already learned from my friend that the Board hadn't exactly been forthcoming with evidence, so I wasn't too surprised when she showed me the tiny amount of evidence that they had given her. In fact, I think that what I was able to give her today was more damning than the whole entire amount of things the Board had given her! Anyway, she is going to face several charges of theft (including felony counts) and some other charges as well. The whole thing with the ex-boss's daughter claiming she was doing community service at the ex-job while receiving her salary and while not actually working... well, they are both going to get in serious trouble for that. I also gave the detective copies of all the crazy shit that the ex-boss and her daughter had written about me on facebook. I'm not sure that it's going to come of anything, but she definitely took it a lot more seriously than the police officer to whom I'd show them previously. Of course, she's seen their rap sheets, and he hadn't!

One thing that I found interesting – there is a woman who is no longer officially on the Board, although she is present at every single meeting the Board calls her a “consultant.” This woman was responsible for the allowing the ex-boss's predecessor to get out of control (leading to a very different type of scandal long before I arrived) and she is responsible for the hiring of both the ex-boss and her daughter. She is also the person who swore at the Board meeting that she had no knowledge of the credit card the ex-boss had opened... and who later told the detective that she couldn't actually swear in court that she hadn't okayed the credit card because she didn't really remember... Anyway, from the questions I was asked about her, it became clear that the Sheriff's department is looking into the "consultant" as well. I am thrilled by this, as I cannot stand this woman. Also, this “consultant” was supposed to be the liaison between the Board and the Sheriff's Department... and meanwhile most of the evidence that was supposed to have been passed on to the Sheriff's Department hadn't been. You know, like my 25+ page statement, copies of things the ex-boss had written incriminating herself, etc. Luckily, I was able to provide these things to the detective. Definitely food for thought. I also have a feeling from the questions (and the evidence I was shown) that the treasurer on the Board is under investigation... as she signed two large checks, one to the ex-boss and one to the ex-boss's husband, and can't provide a decent explanation as to what those checks were for. In the treasurer's defense, I don't think she's all that bright, and she probably believed whatever BS the ex-boss told her as to why the check needed to be signed.

After leaving the Sheriff's department, I had an appointment at the V business, where one of the Board members works. I asked him if he'd heard about the murder, and he said he had only learned of it two days ago. I asked him why the Board had talked at their meetings about having so much evidence against the ex-boss, and yet the Sheriff's department hadn't received much of anything. He seemed very surprised, and told me that they have boxes of stuff (including my statement and things I'd emailed them that the ex-boss had written) and that as far as he knew, the Board President had given these things to the Sheriff's Department. I believe that he believes these things were turned over... but to me it's looking like several of the board members (and their damned “consultant”) are trying to cover their asses.