I know I haven't updated in a long time, but I figure some of you might be interested in what's been going on with the now ex-boyfriend and the continuing drama of the ex-boss.
Ex-boyfriend: I do talk to him now. He calls at least once a day, either "just to talk" or to try and beg me to take him back. I'm always very firm with my saying no to him... and to be honest, it's easier to deal with that than with him calling non-stop all day and night.
Ex-boss: Not too much new has come out in the investigation... just more thefts of funds uncovered. At this point, that no longer shocks or surprises me. Plus, they've uncovered that an elderly donor had been making monthly donations (she thought) to the ex-job - but the ex-boss had told her that checks needed to be made out in her (the ex-boss's) name! That's a bit sickening. Also, for those of you who aren't my facebook friend, she recently figured a way to circumvent my facebook block and leave a bunch of nasty comments for me. She's been re-blocked by the way. She has also started posting crap about the ex-job on the local online forum again, talking about how terrible they are....
And that's pretty much it! :-)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Hahahaha. The Spy just called with more news. The ex-boss's daughter is now back on probation. Apparently she had originally had to do 60 hours of community service (all of which she "did" at the ex-job while receiving her salary) - now she has to do something like double that, starting from scratch, and her probation officer will be monitoring where and how well she does her service quite closely this time around!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
So here's the story you've been waiting for. I'm telling you, the previous post is more interesting! I decided to kick the now EX boyfriend out as soon as I got home from taking my last final exam yesterday. I literally told him the instant I came in the front door. Something that had never occurred to me before (mainly because he was usually drinking) was that every time I had tried to dump him before, he had been drunk. This was the first time I ever tried when he was stone cold sober. He went through the same routine that he had done the previous times (crying, begging, wanting to know what he had done wrong, promising to change, etc, etc) although I think since he was sober, what *I* was saying ("I don't love you and I want you to move out") actually got through to him somewhat. After about an hour of repeating myself over and over, he finally started packing. He also called his mom. You know, the psychotic ex-boss, to ask if her husband (his step-dad) could come and help him transport his ridiculous $1000 TV (you know, the one he bought with the one bit of money he earned this summer instead of helping me pay my bills). I was actually the most worried that the ex-boss would show up, but only her husband came. They loaded everything up and were gone. He did try a couple more times to get me to let him stay, and even tried to get me to agree to being separated but still dating (to which I said no). All in all, it seemed pretty easy, which really surprised me, considering how he had always just not listened to me and wore me down with hours of arguing before. That was when I realized that he had always been drunk before and this time he wasn't. What a difference that made!
Anyway, even though he did give me his keys back before he left, I went ahead and had the locks changed (who knows - he might've made himself a copy, or his psycho mom might have made herself a copy one day when he was passed out drunk at her house), so now I have all new locks.
Last night around 8pm he began calling me. He literally dialed my number over and over for an hour and a half, and left me a total of 8 messages, all begging me to call him and talk to him and all telling me how depressed he was. I did not call him back. His last message was that he would stop calling me, but if I had any morality in me at all, I would at least call him back the next day. Being moral-free is fine with me, apparently, because I did not call him, and don't intend to do so.
Anyway, even though he did give me his keys back before he left, I went ahead and had the locks changed (who knows - he might've made himself a copy, or his psycho mom might have made herself a copy one day when he was passed out drunk at her house), so now I have all new locks.
Last night around 8pm he began calling me. He literally dialed my number over and over for an hour and a half, and left me a total of 8 messages, all begging me to call him and talk to him and all telling me how depressed he was. I did not call him back. His last message was that he would stop calling me, but if I had any morality in me at all, I would at least call him back the next day. Being moral-free is fine with me, apparently, because I did not call him, and don't intend to do so.
Okay... I know this isn't what you've been waiting for, but it's just so much more interesting, really! I just got off the phone with The Spy, who told me several very interesting pieces of gossip.
1. The ex-boss really is filing a workman's comp claim against the ex-job for the "injury" which she claims to have obtained the day before she was fired (which, if such an injury really had occurred it would have been her fault for two separate reasons, plus she had let the workman's comp insurance lapse!). Anyway, The Spy learned about this, because when she filed her claim, she listed one person as a witness to her "accident" - her husband! And she also listed both her husband and The Spy as people who could verify that she had indeed been injured. The Board, their lawyer and a workman's comp lawyer had a meeting today to discuss this and other issues, and they asked The Spy to come down and join them. He assumed they'd ask him questions about what (if anything) he had seen, and then ask him to leave... but they allowed him to stay for the whole meeting. Thus the gossip. Anyway, he had not seen her "accident/injury" nor had he witnessed her suffering any kind of pain or discomfort in the 24 hours between the alleged accident and her firing. He told them that he would indeed be willing to testify at a workman's comp hearing if so required.
2. A warrant has been issued against the ex-boss for theft of two items: a small electronic device and a large appliance type thing, together worth over $1000. The sherrif's department and various others are still investigating the whole money thing. They don't want to charge/arrest her until the investigation is complete. Right now, in addition to the personal purchases she made on the company credit card, they've found that she was writing checks to herself, but putting them in the checkbook ledger as checks to places the ex-job owed money! Additionally, they've uncovered something like $25,000 in unpaid bills she left behind.
3. This is my favorite. Up until now, it didn't look like there was anything the ex-boss's daughter could be charged with. Well, last spring she was on probation for assault. Her sentence was however many hours of community service. Apparently, she claimed to have done all her community service at the ex-job! At the same time she was drawing a salary from there! With her mother (they have different last names, or at least they do when the daughter uses her married name) signing off as the superviser who observed her doing the community service! They're turning this information over to the probation people, who hopefully will get her in a hella lot of trouble for this.
Anyway, that's the gossip. I'll have a post up on the EX-boyfriend very soon :-)
1. The ex-boss really is filing a workman's comp claim against the ex-job for the "injury" which she claims to have obtained the day before she was fired (which, if such an injury really had occurred it would have been her fault for two separate reasons, plus she had let the workman's comp insurance lapse!). Anyway, The Spy learned about this, because when she filed her claim, she listed one person as a witness to her "accident" - her husband! And she also listed both her husband and The Spy as people who could verify that she had indeed been injured. The Board, their lawyer and a workman's comp lawyer had a meeting today to discuss this and other issues, and they asked The Spy to come down and join them. He assumed they'd ask him questions about what (if anything) he had seen, and then ask him to leave... but they allowed him to stay for the whole meeting. Thus the gossip. Anyway, he had not seen her "accident/injury" nor had he witnessed her suffering any kind of pain or discomfort in the 24 hours between the alleged accident and her firing. He told them that he would indeed be willing to testify at a workman's comp hearing if so required.
2. A warrant has been issued against the ex-boss for theft of two items: a small electronic device and a large appliance type thing, together worth over $1000. The sherrif's department and various others are still investigating the whole money thing. They don't want to charge/arrest her until the investigation is complete. Right now, in addition to the personal purchases she made on the company credit card, they've found that she was writing checks to herself, but putting them in the checkbook ledger as checks to places the ex-job owed money! Additionally, they've uncovered something like $25,000 in unpaid bills she left behind.
3. This is my favorite. Up until now, it didn't look like there was anything the ex-boss's daughter could be charged with. Well, last spring she was on probation for assault. Her sentence was however many hours of community service. Apparently, she claimed to have done all her community service at the ex-job! At the same time she was drawing a salary from there! With her mother (they have different last names, or at least they do when the daughter uses her married name) signing off as the superviser who observed her doing the community service! They're turning this information over to the probation people, who hopefully will get her in a hella lot of trouble for this.
Anyway, that's the gossip. I'll have a post up on the EX-boyfriend very soon :-)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
A couple of weeks ago, I made up my mind that as soon as finals were over, I was going to kick the boyfriend out. Not that I wouldn’t love for him to go NOW, but I know that kicking him out will cause a really big, stressful scene, and I’d rather not have that at the end of the semester when I’m trying to get all my projects turned in and study for finals and such. I ended up trying to get him out before my self-imposed deadline, and it was disastrous.
The other day was horrible. It was a Thursday. I had C class that night, and the first part of my P class final exam the following morning. That afternoon I had a severely upset stomach. In between bouts in the bathroom, I spent the afternoon curled up in bed with one of my pets, feeling physically miserable and not studying.
Now, the boyfriend does not like having pets in the bed. Now, while I’ve had pets in my bed all of my life, I know and understand that this is not something that everybody does. The boyfriend is one of those people who is opposed to pets in the bed. So, I keep the pets out of the bed when he’s in it, and when I’m in the bed alone, I keep the pets on my side. I think that’s a pretty fair compromise.
Anyway, so there I was in bed, having really painful stomach cramps, holding the feline and trying not to cry. The boyfriend knew I was sick. He also knows that my pets are very important to me. Anyway, he came into the bedroom and ordered (!) me to get the animal out of the bed, and I told him no. He stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. I fell asleep, holding my pet.
I woke up and had to leave to go to C class. He was sitting on the couch, drinking and playing video games. I was not feeling particularly friendly, but I said, “I’m going to C class” to which he replied, “I don’t care what you do.” I just picked up my things and walked out. I didn’t want to have a fight right before going to C class for my final review.
I came home from C class, and he was still drinking and still playing video games. I didn’t say anything, just microwaved something for dinner, and went into my study room to study for part 1 of my P exam. He cranked the volume up on the TV *and* put on headphones and began shouting the lyrics to bad rap songs. I couldn’t study at all because of the noise, but didn’t want to go out in the living room, so I just stayed locked inside the study room. Eventually he decided to go and buy more beer. Joy. As soon as he left, I locked the screen door and took my stuff into the bedroom and locked myself in. Of course, the “lock” on the screen door was easy for him to pry open and he was very angry when he came in… especially when he found that I’d locked myself inside the bedroom.
I could hear him out in the living room cussing and banging stuff around, and finally he said, “Are you going to come out here and talk to me, or are you going to stay in there and be an asshole?” Now that I think about this, remembering what a friend who’s been through a similar situation told me, that was probably the specific kind of statement to get me to come out of the bedroom… it really pissed me off. *I* was the asshole? Seriously? So I went storming out. I was so furious I was crying and shaking and shouting. He was going on and on about how he had only ever asked me for one thing, no pets in the bed, and how he just bends over backwards for me, and I just walk all over him, and won’t even do this one little thing, blah, blah, blah. I pointed out that he had been walking all over me for months, that he constantly tells me what to do and how to live and never does anything to support us financially, and all he does is drink and play video games, etc, etc. And then I told him (for the umpteenth time) that I didn’t love him and wanted him to move out, that I wanted to be single, to live alone, and to be able to have my animals in the bed whenever I wanted.
Of course, as soon as I brought kicking him out into the mix, he immediately changed his tune: he loved me so much, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he couldn’t live without me, he would do anything to make me happy, blah, blah. I countered all of that with nice logical arguments for the longest time, sticking firm to my, “I don’t love you and I want you to move out mantra.” But he just kept at me and at me over and over and over… and it was getting later and later, and I knew I had part 1 of my P final at 8am the following morning, and meanwhile, I was hysterical, had a splitting headache and had not studied any. Finally I decided that I needed to go to bed, or else my P grade would suffer even more, so I just went to bed. He followed me to bed, but I made it clear that I was going to sleep and that there wasn’t going to be any cuddling or screwing around.
I had to take two Excedrin for my headache, and of course, Excedrin contains caffeine… so it took me FOREVER to fall asleep. Meanwhile, the boyfriend was out like a light within minutes. I finally fell asleep, but had to get up a handful of hours later to go take part one of the P exam. I thought I totally bombed it, considering how exhausted I was and how I hadn’t studied, although I got my grade back on it and it turns out I did pretty well. No idea how!
I decided that if the boyfriend wanted to pretend that nothing had happened, I would go along with that until after my last exam (part 2 of the P final, which is Wednesday at 8am), and then try again. The problem is that I don’t think he will go, no matter what I say.
I do not understand this behavior at all. I have been in two relationships in my life where I truly believed I was in love (maybe *I* was, the dude in each instance wasn’t, apparently). Both times when I was dumped, I was miserable. Hysterical. But I was miserable and hysterical because I knew it was over. If a guy tells me, “I don’t love you, I love X person,” or even a simple, “I’m sorry, I just don’t love you,” as painful as that is to hear, as soon as I have heard these things, I have accepted that the relationship is over. Both times this has happened to me I still had feelings for the guys involved, it wasn’t like I could just stop loving them… but I certainly didn’t just keep throwing myself at them, refusing to leave.
Anyway, I know from experience what will happen when I tell him to get out. I know because we’ve been over it and over it. My mom tells me, “Why don’t you tell him this or that or the other?” except that I have told him this, that *and* the other and he hasn’t left.
The only way (in this state, anyway) to get someone out of a property you own is to go to the Magistrate’s Court and file a notice of eviction. (We learned this when a guy my mom had been paying to work on one of her properties began squatting there and wouldn’t leave.) I think that the only way I can get him out is to first tell him that I want him to leave, and that if he doesn’t go voluntarily, *I* will leave, then file an eviction notice and get a restraining order… Then, if he doesn’t go voluntarily, actually leave and file the orders.
Sounds like a great plan… except there are two problems: Where do I go? and What do I do with my animals? These two problems are inextricably linked, since if I had no animals, I could go anywhere. Additionally, I have numerous things scheduled in the area over the upcoming that are very important, which I *must* do. As such, I can’t go too far from the city where I live. He knows where my mom lives and where her other two properties are, so it’s not like those would be secret locations. Plus, I have 16 animals at the house; 12 feline and 4 canine. One of the canines could stay with my mom. I could put the injured feline that is in my bathroom in my mom’s spare bathroom. Unfortunately, since my mother has something like 19 felines and 6 canines at her house, that’s as many as she could take. The others would either have to go with me or be left behind. I don’t think the boyfriend would do anything to the animals, although I know he wouldn’t feed them or clean up after them. Also, there are 3 in particular (one feline and two small canines) that I would be really concerned about leaving there without me to take care of them.
So that leaves me with the thought that I could go *somewhere* with the two small canines and the one feline, and get my mom to go over to the house to feed and clean the remaining critters. I literally couldn’t take the 3 animals to her house, as there really isn’t room for them, so that rules out her house. I don’t know that many people in the area, and none who could accept me and the 3 critters.
I had thought about campingat a nearby state park, which has electric hookups, showers and allows pets. I could stay in mom's van, plug in a space heater, and be fine, but it's $23 a day and I am poor. So then I thought that perhaps I could crate up the three beasts somehow and lock them in her office, and sleep over there, even though that would be very difficult and not a secret location… but…
So that’s where I am now. I’m back to thinking seriously about camping in my mom’s van with 2-3 canines and a feline. Suggestions?
The other day was horrible. It was a Thursday. I had C class that night, and the first part of my P class final exam the following morning. That afternoon I had a severely upset stomach. In between bouts in the bathroom, I spent the afternoon curled up in bed with one of my pets, feeling physically miserable and not studying.
Now, the boyfriend does not like having pets in the bed. Now, while I’ve had pets in my bed all of my life, I know and understand that this is not something that everybody does. The boyfriend is one of those people who is opposed to pets in the bed. So, I keep the pets out of the bed when he’s in it, and when I’m in the bed alone, I keep the pets on my side. I think that’s a pretty fair compromise.
Anyway, so there I was in bed, having really painful stomach cramps, holding the feline and trying not to cry. The boyfriend knew I was sick. He also knows that my pets are very important to me. Anyway, he came into the bedroom and ordered (!) me to get the animal out of the bed, and I told him no. He stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. I fell asleep, holding my pet.
I woke up and had to leave to go to C class. He was sitting on the couch, drinking and playing video games. I was not feeling particularly friendly, but I said, “I’m going to C class” to which he replied, “I don’t care what you do.” I just picked up my things and walked out. I didn’t want to have a fight right before going to C class for my final review.
I came home from C class, and he was still drinking and still playing video games. I didn’t say anything, just microwaved something for dinner, and went into my study room to study for part 1 of my P exam. He cranked the volume up on the TV *and* put on headphones and began shouting the lyrics to bad rap songs. I couldn’t study at all because of the noise, but didn’t want to go out in the living room, so I just stayed locked inside the study room. Eventually he decided to go and buy more beer. Joy. As soon as he left, I locked the screen door and took my stuff into the bedroom and locked myself in. Of course, the “lock” on the screen door was easy for him to pry open and he was very angry when he came in… especially when he found that I’d locked myself inside the bedroom.
I could hear him out in the living room cussing and banging stuff around, and finally he said, “Are you going to come out here and talk to me, or are you going to stay in there and be an asshole?” Now that I think about this, remembering what a friend who’s been through a similar situation told me, that was probably the specific kind of statement to get me to come out of the bedroom… it really pissed me off. *I* was the asshole? Seriously? So I went storming out. I was so furious I was crying and shaking and shouting. He was going on and on about how he had only ever asked me for one thing, no pets in the bed, and how he just bends over backwards for me, and I just walk all over him, and won’t even do this one little thing, blah, blah, blah. I pointed out that he had been walking all over me for months, that he constantly tells me what to do and how to live and never does anything to support us financially, and all he does is drink and play video games, etc, etc. And then I told him (for the umpteenth time) that I didn’t love him and wanted him to move out, that I wanted to be single, to live alone, and to be able to have my animals in the bed whenever I wanted.
Of course, as soon as I brought kicking him out into the mix, he immediately changed his tune: he loved me so much, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he couldn’t live without me, he would do anything to make me happy, blah, blah. I countered all of that with nice logical arguments for the longest time, sticking firm to my, “I don’t love you and I want you to move out mantra.” But he just kept at me and at me over and over and over… and it was getting later and later, and I knew I had part 1 of my P final at 8am the following morning, and meanwhile, I was hysterical, had a splitting headache and had not studied any. Finally I decided that I needed to go to bed, or else my P grade would suffer even more, so I just went to bed. He followed me to bed, but I made it clear that I was going to sleep and that there wasn’t going to be any cuddling or screwing around.
I had to take two Excedrin for my headache, and of course, Excedrin contains caffeine… so it took me FOREVER to fall asleep. Meanwhile, the boyfriend was out like a light within minutes. I finally fell asleep, but had to get up a handful of hours later to go take part one of the P exam. I thought I totally bombed it, considering how exhausted I was and how I hadn’t studied, although I got my grade back on it and it turns out I did pretty well. No idea how!
I decided that if the boyfriend wanted to pretend that nothing had happened, I would go along with that until after my last exam (part 2 of the P final, which is Wednesday at 8am), and then try again. The problem is that I don’t think he will go, no matter what I say.
I do not understand this behavior at all. I have been in two relationships in my life where I truly believed I was in love (maybe *I* was, the dude in each instance wasn’t, apparently). Both times when I was dumped, I was miserable. Hysterical. But I was miserable and hysterical because I knew it was over. If a guy tells me, “I don’t love you, I love X person,” or even a simple, “I’m sorry, I just don’t love you,” as painful as that is to hear, as soon as I have heard these things, I have accepted that the relationship is over. Both times this has happened to me I still had feelings for the guys involved, it wasn’t like I could just stop loving them… but I certainly didn’t just keep throwing myself at them, refusing to leave.
Anyway, I know from experience what will happen when I tell him to get out. I know because we’ve been over it and over it. My mom tells me, “Why don’t you tell him this or that or the other?” except that I have told him this, that *and* the other and he hasn’t left.
The only way (in this state, anyway) to get someone out of a property you own is to go to the Magistrate’s Court and file a notice of eviction. (We learned this when a guy my mom had been paying to work on one of her properties began squatting there and wouldn’t leave.) I think that the only way I can get him out is to first tell him that I want him to leave, and that if he doesn’t go voluntarily, *I* will leave, then file an eviction notice and get a restraining order… Then, if he doesn’t go voluntarily, actually leave and file the orders.
Sounds like a great plan… except there are two problems: Where do I go? and What do I do with my animals? These two problems are inextricably linked, since if I had no animals, I could go anywhere. Additionally, I have numerous things scheduled in the area over the upcoming that are very important, which I *must* do. As such, I can’t go too far from the city where I live. He knows where my mom lives and where her other two properties are, so it’s not like those would be secret locations. Plus, I have 16 animals at the house; 12 feline and 4 canine. One of the canines could stay with my mom. I could put the injured feline that is in my bathroom in my mom’s spare bathroom. Unfortunately, since my mother has something like 19 felines and 6 canines at her house, that’s as many as she could take. The others would either have to go with me or be left behind. I don’t think the boyfriend would do anything to the animals, although I know he wouldn’t feed them or clean up after them. Also, there are 3 in particular (one feline and two small canines) that I would be really concerned about leaving there without me to take care of them.
So that leaves me with the thought that I could go *somewhere* with the two small canines and the one feline, and get my mom to go over to the house to feed and clean the remaining critters. I literally couldn’t take the 3 animals to her house, as there really isn’t room for them, so that rules out her house. I don’t know that many people in the area, and none who could accept me and the 3 critters.
I had thought about campingat a nearby state park, which has electric hookups, showers and allows pets. I could stay in mom's van, plug in a space heater, and be fine, but it's $23 a day and I am poor. So then I thought that perhaps I could crate up the three beasts somehow and lock them in her office, and sleep over there, even though that would be very difficult and not a secret location… but…
So that’s where I am now. I’m back to thinking seriously about camping in my mom’s van with 2-3 canines and a feline. Suggestions?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The board members of the ex-job had a meeting last night. I couldn't go, but I've heard what they talked about: who is going to replace the board member who is resigning. My mom (who is VERY qualified to be on the board and who would be very active and actually get things done) had put her name in the running... but they are not even considering her! I am rather angry about this, since of the three people they *are* considering, only one has had anything to do with the cause the ex-job supports, and the one with a connection was actually in tight with the ex-boss! Of course, the three people under consideration are "important" and "well-known" people in our community, and apparently that is what is important to them.
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